Reading Your Face and Personality

Reading Your Face and Personality

 
How is your face shape related to your personality? Does your face reveal how you are? 

"Your face, my thane, is as a book where Men may read strange matters." - William Shakespeare

Face reading is a pseudoscience that deals with how the shape of one's face and facial features reflect his personality. It is a technique which uses the size and shape of one's facial features to interpret his personality. Now does this mean that a person can be judged by his face value in the literal sense of the term?

Well, if you consider your face to be a representation of your personality, here is some information on what your features have to say. Face shape and personality are believed to have a direct association. Certain personality traits can be deciphered from the characteristics of your face. For instance:
A long and thin face is indicative of endurance. A person with this face is believed to be firm and confident, and someone who leaves no stone unturned in the quest to fulfill his dreams.
A broad face is suggestive of broad-mindedness. People with a broad face are said to have a broad perspective towards life. Typically, they are sensitive in nature.

Here's more on face shapes and the personality traits associated with them.

Round: Round-faced people generally have a strong bone structure, flat cheekbones, a round chin, and a wide nose. Their faces are full and have no angular features. Jovial in nature, they are sensitive, caring, sincere, and reliable. They tend to have sexual fantasies. They prefer long-term and stable relationships. They are hardworking and dedicated, mentally sharp and influential. A good family life, comfort, and luxury are of importance to them.

Oval: People with an oval-shaped face have round cheekbones, a medium nose, a pointed chin, and a face narrowing at the jaw line. Highly dedicated and people of principles, they are fearless and authoritative. They are intelligent and diplomatic and have good interpersonal skills. They may lack physical and temperamental strength.

Oblong: The cheekbones of oblong-faced people are not much wider than their forehead or jawline. Their face is straight. These people have an athletic build. There is a strong spiritual side to their personalities and they are creative. They may have complicated relationships.

Diamond: People with diamond-shaped faces are characterized by prominent cheekbones, a regular nose, and a pointed chin. Perfectionists by nature, they are confident and strong-willed. They make good leaders. They are seen to have a quick temper and are found to be unpredictable. They achieve success late in life and may not have very successful relationships.

Triangle: People with triangular faces have wide foreheads, prominent cheekbones and a pointed chin. They are active but may have less stamina. They are intelligent and lively, but driven by their emotions, they may get depressed quite easily. They are seen to be creative and sensitive. They are intellectual and slightly impatient.

Heart/Inverted Triangle: Those with a heart-shaped face have large foreheads and their faces taper towards the chin, thus forming an inverted triangle. They are self-analyzers, quick thinkers and they possess good memory. They are ambitious and they love independence. They do not have an easygoing nature. They value sincerity and commitment.

Pear: Those with a pear-shaped face have narrow foreheads and the face is broad in the region of the cheekbones and the jawline. They tend to feel anxious quite easily and need to be motivated often. They come across as warm and amiable.

Square: People with a square-shaped face have a wide forehead and jaw, angular features, and typically a strong bone structure. Practical and materialistic in nature, they are very competitive. They are aggressive and rebellious and they dislike being challenged. They have good decision-making and leadership skills.

Rectangle: The rectangular-faced have a strong forehead, a wide jawline and a broad chin. They come across as slightly dominating and ambitious. They are intelligent, analytical, hardworking and they possess self-control. They are strong and active. They make good leaders.

A variation to this face shape is a quadrilateral that is wide at the top and narrow at the chin. People with this face shape are found to be creative and outgoing. Now invert this shape. That gives a face which broadens from top to bottom (a narrow forehead and wide jaws). People with this face shape are strong and competitive and have a dominating nature.

The Chinese have their own theory of interpreting facial shapes and features.
According to them, ears that are above the eyebrow level, flat against the head and with long earlobes are supposed to be auspicious. Small earlobes and a narrow door are not considered auspicious.
It is believed that people with long and dark eyebrows are lucky while those with pale and thin eyebrows are not.
A high, straight bridge of the nose is an auspicious sign, while it is considered inauspicious to have a low and crooked nose.
Symmetrically balanced and closed lips are considered fortunate, while those with contrary characteristics are considered unlucky.
A full fleshy chin signifies luck, while a thin and pointed chin is supposed to be unlucky.
Large, wide-set eyes are considered auspicious. Small, close-set eyes with small pupils are considered unlucky.
Here are some other interpretations of facial features.
The crown of the head suggests the degree of authority that a person has. If the crown is low, the person lacks confidence. An overdeveloped crown is representative of an authoritarian.
Having silky hair is indicative of sensitivity. Thick and wiry hair indicates physical strength.
People who have a wide forehead are considered clever and idealistic. Those with a narrow forehead are believed to face obstacles in success. A shallow forehead might cause parental troubles during youth. If one's hairline is set back and not narrow and if he has a pointed forehead, it indicates high levels of intelligence.
Eyebrows are said to reflect one's fame as well as temperamental balance. A thick brow over the bridge of the nose indicates a possessive nature.
Small, squinty eyes denote an introvert person while bright and prominent eyes that gaze steadily indicate a persevering nature. Wandering eyes reflect a person's impatience and restlessness. A person with eyes like these is seen to be unsettled and might also be dishonest. Evenly set eyes mean that the person has a unique approach of looking at things. A person with this type of eyes is considered to be good at analyzing situations and making the right choices. Eyes that slant upwards signify an opportunist, while those slanting downward are indicative of a submissive person.
A large and high bridge of the nose denotes high levels of energy. A small nose is suggestive of a reserved nature. A straight nose indicates discipline.
Full lips denote a caring nature. Large lips are indicative of the love for luxury. Narrow lips are indicative of a less emotional person.
Large-eared individuals are intellectuals while the ones with small ears are impulsive in nature.
A strong jawline indicates a stubborn nature. That combined with fullness of cheeks denotes an authoritative nature.
If a person has a rounded or square-shaped chin, he is believed to have a peaceful old age. A protruding chin is indicative of a self-willed person while a receding chin indicates a weak-willed individual.
Reading a face can be subjective. It may not be easy to describe each facial feature in terms of its shape or size, as they are relative. For example, a face may not be perfectly circular or square-shaped. An apparently round face may show a slightly angular nature. Similarly, a square-shaped face may taper very slightly towards the forehead or the chin. And talking of big, medium, or small features, there are no exact measures for them and thus, sizes are relative. One's face shape can give only a broad idea of his personality. The facial features may be suggestive of certain personality traits but the inferences will almost always be inexact. Though one's face is not a direct derivative of what kind of a person he is, it is definitely an interface to the self within.

source:http://www.buzzle.com/articles/face-readings-face-shape-and-personality.html

Thank you for reading, commenting,and rating.

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General Knowledge Questions and Answers

50 General Knowledge Questions and Answers

1.     What beer is marketed as The king of beers? – Budweiser
2.    What name is given to a female swan? – Pen
3.    Name the frontman of the Kaiser Chiefs who replaced Danny O'Donoghue as judge and mentor on 'The Voice UK'? - Ricky Wilson
4.    Which is the world's second largest French-speaking city? – Montreal, Canada
5.    What angle is formed by the hands of a clock at 4 o'clock? - 120 degrees
6.    England's national rugby union side play their home games at which ground? - Twickenham
7.    In what year was Margaret Thatcher first elected Prime Minister? - 1979 
8.    Which 1851 novel was first published in Britain under the title The Whale? - Moby Dick
9.    How many toes does a dog have? - 18
10.    Where would you find the Sea of Tranquillity? – The Moon
11.    In the music video for The Pogues 'Fairytale of New York', which famous American actor born on February 18, 1964 plays the police officer who arrests Shane McGowan? - Matt Dillon
12.    Name the first Democrat Party member in almost 20 years to become Mayor of New York City in January 2014? - Bill de Blasio
13.    What was the first country to win the World Cup twice? – Italy
14.    Who was born Leslie Townes Hope? – Bob Hope
15.    In what television show would you find The Woolpack? – Emmerdale
16.    What colour would Coca Cola be if you were to remove the artificial colouring? – Green
17.    How many legs do butterflies have? – 6
18.    Which British prime minister was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature? - Sir Winston Churchill
19.    How is the number 5 written in Roman numerals? V
20.    Which is the only country to lie entirely within the Alps? - Liechtenstein
21.    What word links the “Wizard of Oz” with the top goal-scorer in the 1990 World Cup finals? - Toto (Schillaci)
22.    In Bingo, what number is referred to as ‘Doctor’s Orders’? - 9
23.    Which city was the capital of Australia from 1901 to 1927? – Melbourne
24.    Which three-digit number refers to the NOT FOUND error message indicating that a HTTP server cannot find the requested item? - 404
25.    In American football, how many points is a touchdown worth? - 6
26.    What word can be used with the following to make a new word – Brief, Show and Stair
27.    What international news magazine became an online published magazine only in January 2013? - Newsweek
28.    Hushabye Mountain featured in which musical film? - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
29.    Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? – Michelangelo
30.    Minus 40 degrees Celsius is equal to how many degrees Fahrenheit? - minus 40 F
31.    What Tarantino movie won the "Best Picture" or prestigious Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival in 1994? - Pulp Fiction
32.    What is a baby seal called? A Pup
33.    In Darts, how much is the Outer Bull worth? – 25
34.    What is the surname of the singer Rihanna born February 20, 1988? – Fenty
35.    Which celebrity couple have children named Apple and Moses? (full names of both people required) – Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
36.    How many keys on a standard piano? – 88
37.    What colour to do you get when you mix red and white? – Pink
38.    In TV's The Simpsons, what is the name of Ned Flanders two children? - Rod and Todd
39.    What is Pakistan's currency? – Rupee
40.    Who were the backing group for Bill Hailey? The Comets
41.    Which capital city lies on the Potomac River? - Washington D.C.
42.    Whom did former Beatle star Paul McCartney wed in 2011? - Nancy Shevell
43.    The pot-bellied pig is a breed of domesticated pig originating in which Asian country? – Vietnam
44.    Elsa Lanchester played the title role in which 1935 horror film? - Bride of Frankenstein (1935) 
45.    What is the square root of 16? – 4
46.    In what country are Pikeur cigars made? – Holland
47.    What is the capital of Nepal? – Kathmandu
48.    How many dots are there in total on a pair of dice? - 42
49.    At which ski resort was Michael Schumacher seriously injured during late 2013? – Meribel
50.    What is the capital of The Bahamas? – Nassau -

Thank you for reading

source:  http://www.tablequizcentral.com/2014/02/50-general-knowledge-questions-feb-2014.html

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Why Do Some People Have All The Luck?

Love or above

Why do some people have all the luck?

Ever noticed how some uncannily ‘lucky’ people can almost effortlessly attract good things into their lives? At work, they get all the opportunities. They lead social movements in their communities. They’re spiritual, yet also have a healthy 
relationship with money. Their relationships are consistently blissful, and they’re always in the pink of health.

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But if you’re like most people, life is a mixture of good days and bad days. You may not be poor or sick, but you worry about your money and health a little more often than you’d like. You long for the time and freedom to live life on your own terms. You wish you were better at manifesting your goals.

And so you’ve probably wondered to yourself on more than a few occasions, “what does it take to be one of those lucky people?”

The answer lies in a fascinating phenomenon known as your personal energetic frequency

An invisible force that shapes your life experience.

he idea that energy or vibrations can influence a person’s reality is nothing new. Throughout history, different cultures have benefitted by tapping into and working with different forms of energy. For thousands of years, the Chinese have practiced Qi Gong and Tai Chi to get their energy moving for health and relaxation.

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In India, people have sought after Kundalini energy and awakened it for self-awareness, a deeper 
understanding of consciousness and the Universe, and pure joy, knowledge, and love.

In Japan, Reiki has healed countless people simply by working with their personal energy fields.

But in recent years, breakthrough scientific studies have taken this belief one step further, by 
discovering that every person on the planet possesses what is known as a personal energetic frequency—a form of energy that dictates what kind of circumstances and events we will attract into our lives.

Where do you fall on the Vibrations Scale?

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Just like how seismographs are used to measure earthquakes, recent breakthroughs have 
allowed researchers to measure a person’s energetic frequency on 
a specific Vibrations Scale.

How does the scale work? Well imagine you have a scale of 1 to 1,000, with 1,000 
being the highest state a human being can attain. If you reach this level you would 
be an Enlightened Master. At the lowest end of the spectrum is someone who 
is not thriving at all.

Researchers use muscle testing and kinesiology to determine where people are 
on this scale. As you can see, heavy emotions like sadness, guilt or humiliation 
vibrate at low frequencies, while feelings like love, bliss and enlightenment 
vibrate at high, uplifting frequencies.

What happens at 500 and above?

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Right now, the average level of energy on Earth is around 207 —and this is because throughout our lives, we accumulate hidden energy blockages and negative conditioning that holds us back from higher vibrations.

The level we should aim for, however, is 500 and above. 500 is the vibration of love. When you vibrate at this level life becomes drastically different. Love, joy, and abundance are suddenly within your grasp. Pain, stress, and struggle seem to melt away and you become a magnet for what you truly desire.

But here’s where things get even better. Studies have shown that your energy doesn’t just affect you, but those around you too. Just Google research articles on subjects like the Maharishi affect or distance healing.

…Scientists have discovered your energy doesn’t just affect you. It affects those around you too. Just google research articles on the power of positive thinking or distance healing.

The conclusion? Everyone looking for a happier, more successful and more enlightened life should aim to overcome their energy blockages, and raise their energetic frequency to a level of Love or Above—a theory that many other reputable scientists have since come to support.

Love or Above

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Be Patient

Why You Must Be Patient With Self-Conditioning

When you use the priming effect or any other daily reinforcement technique to condition yourself for success, abundance, or other positive changes, patience is key.

During the first week or two, it will usually seem like your efforts are having little or no effect. But if the technique is effective, then usually within several weeks after you begin, you’ll start seeing significant shifts in your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors. At some point you’ll observe that you seem to be making huge leaps forward every week.

From Minor Pattern to Major Pattern

Let me give you a simple explanation of why daily conditioning seems to be ineffective at first and then quickly picks up steam and often leads to a tipping point, whereby you eventually find yourself in a whole new reality.

Suppose that your initial goal starts out as just an idea in your head. Perhaps it’s a thought, like a new income goal or the idea for a new habit you’d like to adopt. But since it’s just an idea at first, it’s not integrated throughout your whole brain yet. It may be nice to think about it, but that mere thought hasn’t yet weaved itself in your other thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors.

Now for the sake of argument, suppose that this minor mental pattern in your brain — this idea — involves only 10,000 neurons. It’s an isolated pattern, so it has little influence on your vast neural network of 100,000,000,000 neurons.

Then suppose that to make this minor thought pattern into a major pattern that powerfully influences your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors, you’d need to build it up to 10,000,000 neurons in its network of influence — a thousandfold increase. And suppose that if you achieve that 1000x increase, the pattern will be well integrated into your whole being. So if the pattern is an income goal, you’ll find yourself doing whatever it takes to achieve it. If it’s a new habit, you’ll find that the habit is successfully installed, and it’s congruently integrated with your other habits.

A Thousandfold Increase

To get a 1000x increase in a neural pattern in a timespan of only 10 days, you’d have to double the size of the pattern every day for 10 days straight (2^10 = 1024), which would probably be completely unrealistic.

But to get a 1000x increase over a more lengthy interval, the neural pattern can expand at a slower, more sustainable rate. For instance, to increase by a factor of 1000 over 90 days, the neural pattern only has to extend its influence by about 8% per day. That may be doable.

Note that with an 8% increase per day, on Day 1 you’ll only add 800 neurons to the pattern (8% of 10,000). That’s a puny gain, so you may not notice much effect. The results aren’t coming through yet. Your behavior seems unaffected.

On Day 30, you’ll add 7,454 neurons to this pattern, for a total of 100,627 neurons. That’s a 10x increase from when you started, but it’s still only 1% of the way to your goal of a 1000x increase. Imagine doing daily conditioning for 30 days straight and only seeing 1% of your desired results thus far. You’re going to need some patience to continue.

On Day 60, you’ll add 75,005 neurons to the pattern’s still-expanding network, for a total of 1,012,571 neurons involved. Even after 60 days, you’re still only 10% of the way to your goal. What if you were to give up now and proclaim that the technique you’re using doesn’t work well enough? You’d be giving up right before a massive tipping point.

By the end of that 90-day time period, you’ll be adding 754,752 neurons to this pattern in one day, finally passing 10 million neurons total for the pattern. Note that 90% of the pattern’s growth happened in those last 30 days, with the first 60 days only getting you to 10% of your goal. The gains you’ll be seeing in those final 30 days will be staggering relative to what you saw during the first 30 days.

Daily Conditioning and Exponential Growth

I’ve been seeing effects like this with a variety of daily conditioning methods, such as listening to positive audio programs every day or reviewing my goals every morning. At first it seems like there’s little or no effect. But with enough persistence over a period of months, it’s quite possible to suddenly tip into a whole new level of experience. Eventually that little pattern that was once just an idea becomes dominant enough to start influencing thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behavior congruently.

This was the #1 strategy I used to earn two college degrees in three semesters. I listened to motivational and time management audio programs for about two hours per day. I kept up that conditioning throughout all three semesters. I noticed that whenever I slacked off, other people’s limiting beliefs began to influence me, as did my own past programming, and I’d start feeling more stressed and have doubts about what I was doing. But when I returned to my conditioning regimen, mainly by listening as I walked from class to class and to and from school each day, I strengthened the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that aligned with my goal. I seriously doubt I’d have been able to achieve that goal without that daily conditioning.

Usually when I do this type of daily conditioning, I notice only very subtle or negligible changes during the first week or two. I may notice that I’m thinking about the ideas a little more, but that’s about it. My behavior seems unaffected.

But after about 2-4 weeks, I start noticing some small shifts. I may take a few small actions that align with the conditioning, but they’re very subtle. That’s a good sign, but these shifts are still too trivial to make much difference by themselves.

Then after 4-6 weeks, the shifts start to pick up steam, with observable changes happening every week. It’s very rewarding to watch this play out over time.

Finally after 10+ weeks, at some point I notice that whatever I was conditioning now seems like no big deal. I’m already doing it. I often don’t notice the shift when it’s happening, but when I’m past that point and looking back, I realize: Oh yeah… I guess I achieved that goal somehow. Interesting…

Sometimes the conditioning produces a series of incremental changes only. Other times it leads to a sharper tipping point. Several weeks ago I had an epiphany. I up and decided to close and delete all my social media accounts. It was very clear that I needed to do that. But just a few days earlier, that decision wasn’t clear at all. However, I was doing months of almost daily conditioning leading up to this decision (in the form of video priming), and quitting social media aligned closely with the conditioning I was doing. It took a while, but eventually that conditioning became strong enough that new thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors became dominant, and those patterns made it very clear that it was time for me to move on from social media.

Since I’ve continued to condition similar patterns after dropping social media, now the new patterns are even more dominant, and the decision to drop social media seems even more obvious in retrospect. I wonder why I didn’t do this years ago.

It’s fascinating how daily conditioning can reprogram our minds and how the effects seem to grow exponentially over time. On any given day, such conditioning looks like it’s having no effect. But when you look back several weeks, you’ll often see some obvious and profound effects.

Maintenance Conditioning

Even after achieving a new goal or installing a new habit, I often find it necessary to continue with some form of the mental conditioning that got me there in the first place. When I don’t do this, I find myself backsliding.

There are so many societal influences that encourage us to feel negative, to fear experiences that aren’t actually dangerous, to obsess over trivialities, and to settle for less than our potential. In the absense of powerful, conscious, self-conditioning, these societal influences too often become the dominant patterns within our own brains.

All experience is mental programming. Whatever you experience through your senses is still actively programming your brain. It’s up to you to take control of this programming. If you don’t like it, you can change it.

Say No to Negative Programming

If your experiences are largely negative, you’re programming your brain to get better, stronger, and faster at running negative patterns. You’re allowing yourself to be programmed for increased negativity. That’s a very bad idea. Please never do that to yourself. If you see this happening to you, run!

Taking in daily positive input is wonderful. Definitely do that! But it’s imperative that you also stop allowing negative patterns to continue programming you. If you’re noticing those patterns at all, they’re definitely programming you. Telling yourself “I’m not being programmed” or “I can rise above this” doesn’t actually work. If your eyes see it or your ears hear it, then those patterns have already gotten into your brain. While you cannot delete old patterns — unless you get yourself surgically lobotomized — you can overpower them with positive patterns. But you need to turn off the negative input first.

Just as with positive programming, you won’t usually notice the effects of negative programming except when you look back to a time when the negative programming wasn’t there. Then you see the cumulative effects, such as the loss of friends, remembering that you used to be happier, seeing your health decline, seeing how much stress you have now, etc.

People sometimes ask me how I deal with negative-minded or critical friends or family members. I respond truthfully that I don’t deal with such people at all. If we can’t relate to each other on the basis of mutual respect and mutual support, then I don’t have such people in my life, regardless of whether they’re blood relatives or were once close friends. I understand that everyone has a bad day now and then, and that’s completely forgivable, but if they opt to wallow in negativity as their default pattern and try to relate to me on that basis, they’re out. To do otherwise would mean deliberately subjecting myself to ongoing negative programming, and that seems like a very foolish thing to do. I have better and more interesting things to do with my life.

Fighting internally with your own brain doesn’t seem like such a bright idea, unless you’re a masochist and love struggling with self-sabotage. I think it makes more sense to regard your brain as your best ally. Give your brain quality input (i.e. quality programming), and you’ll discover that your brain can be a very powerful and supportive ally.

If you find yourself feeling stuck dealing with negative-minded people, let me remind you that you’re saying yes to that. Silent approval is still approval. You have better options than to let people negatively program your brain. Positive conditioning doesn’t take root in poisoned soil.

Opt out of the negative conditioning you notice in your life first. If you have to fire a bunch of people, make it so. Then start conditioning yourself with positive thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that align with your desired path.

And most of all, be patient. The numbers I shared above are just made up for the sake of example. The important observation I want to stress is that daily personal conditioning requires consistent and patient practice to create change. You’ll often see little or no effect at first, but if you’re taking in positive input, rest assured that it’s already affecting your brain. If your eyes are seeing it (or your ears hearing it), then your visual (or auditory) cortex is processing it, and your neural network is changing. It will take time for these changes to become consciously observable. Eventually this daily conditioning can produce some truly powerful results, which often resemble patterns of exponential growth.

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Social Pressure

Can You Act Independently of Social Pressure?

One thing I really like about open relationships is the ability to learn through experience more quickly. There are valuable lessons to be learned from a long-term monogamous relationship, but I found that my understanding of relationships quickly accelerated with a more open attitude towards connections. This is a predictable consequence of being able to learn from a greater variety of partners/teachers.

As I see it, this is the same learning dynamic that you can gain by working for different companies, with different teams, and in different industries. You’ll surely learn some lessons you’d otherwise miss if you’d stuck with one company, one team, or one boss indefinitely.

Maintaining an open relationship posture has been a powerful part of my path of growth. It took a lot of courage and soul-searching to decide to go this route, but I’m really glad I did it. I learned some lessons about myself that I didn’t expect to learn.

How Are You Different?

I could say that exploring open relationships makes me different from most people, but I think it’s actually the opposite. Most long-term monogamous relationships aren’t actually monogamous. There’s usually some cheating by one or both partners at one time or another. And I’m sure many more relationships would be open if constricting religious influences were reduced. The openness is already present and quite popular, so I feel that my desire for openness is something I have in common with most people. I enjoy exploring this openness consciously without the repression and guilt.

As I’ve continued to deliberately explore aspects of myself that I once thought were odd or different, I’ve often found that I’m not so different after all. A massive amount of feedback has taught me that lots of other people share the same desires or quirks that I have. I’ve simply gone further down the path of sloughing off social repression, so I can experience my desires as reality more easily than most.

How many people would prefer not to have a job if they could still cover all their expenses? I’m sure lots of people fantasize about it, but they let social pressures, such as the stigma of potential failure, keep them from taking action.

How many people would enjoy open relationships if it were socially acceptable to do so, with no stigma attached and no repression or judgment? I imagine that lots of people would enjoy exploring this path, especially since so many already do connect with multiple partners and hide it.

Does it really serve us to squash and repress such popular desires? Wouldn’t it be more intelligent to let go of needless repression?

Repressing Ourselves

We can talk endlessly about how society represses us and why we feel obligated to conform, but we can also acknowledge that in the end, we repress ourselves. There is social pressure to conform, but we still accept it, tolerate it, obey it, and silently approve of it. Sometimes we actively contribute to it.

In some areas of life, we attempt to compress natural human variety down to a small subset of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which we then label as “normal.” This is especially true of our sexuality. As famous sexologist Alfred Kinsey discovered through extensive research, there is no “normal” when it comes to sexuality. Instead there is an enormous spectrum of experience.

It’s good to identify and acknowledge how society wants us to think, feel, and behave. Once we understand the forces being exerted upon us, they become less forceful. We gain the ability to consciously counteract those forces, not perfectly perhaps, but well enough to make decisions that oppose social pressures when we feel so inclined.

Conscious Exploration

I’ve often found tremendous value in deliberately exploring paths that oppose social pressures, so I can see what’s on the other side. Once I’ve done a reasonable job of educating myself about some alternatives, I can make wiser choices based on what I believe is an intelligent course of action, without feeling overly manipulated by social pressures.

For instance, by breaking many laws in my late teens and getting arrested several times, I had the opportunity to explore the other side of law abidance. By deliberately disobeying the law, I felt less pressure to obey the law just because people told me I was supposed to. I understood that there were potential consequences to breaking the law, but I also learned that I could choose to accept those consequences if I felt that opposing a law was justified. I replaced blind law abidance with my own sense of conscience, ethics, and reasonableness.

In some cases I break a law because I disagree with it, like driving faster than the posted speed limit or smoking pot occasionally. In other cases I hold myself to a significantly higher standard than the law allows. For instance, the consumption of animal products is against my code of conduct, so even though it’s legal, I treat is as being illegal.

This style of exploration has been so valuable to me that when I see a “This way there be dragons” type of sign, I feel tempted to explore it just for the sake of learning and growth. I’ve explored a variety of paths I even expected to dislike, on the off chance I might be wrong about them. Usually my initial impression was correct, but sometimes I’ve been surprised, grateful to have tested my assumptions through direct experience.

Self Discovery

One empowering benefit of adopting an explorer’s attitude is that you’ll learn a great deal about yourself as you progress through life. You’ll refine your preferences over time. You’ll create a happier and more fulfilling life for yourself.

I didn’t know, for instance, how much I would come to enjoy writing — and just how much I would write, especially for free. I wrote my first article in 1999 partly as an experiment. Over time, especially as my writing skills improved and I could write more fluidly with less mental effort, I fell in love with writing. It felt so peaceful and serene to immerse myself in the realm of ideas and to seek new connections as I wrote.

In terms of relationship exploration, initially I had only a fuzzy notion of the types of women I’d most enjoy connecting with — and the types of women who’d most enjoy and appreciate me as well. It was only through exploration that I was able to learn where the best matches would be found.

For instance, I learned from experience that I really love women who enjoy being sexually submissive. Exploring D/s play proved so delicious that I’ve largely lost interest in sexual connections with women who don’t share this interest. I still enjoy sharing friendship, conversation, cuddles, and affection with a variety of women, but if I know a woman isn’t interested in being submissive sexually and playing in that space with me, it’s best if we don’t get too sexual with each other since the compatibility and chemistry won’t be there.

This has been a really eye-opening exploration for me. I’d previously felt that there was something wrong with wanting to be sexually dominant with a woman, to have her obey my every command, to call me Master, etc. It seemed like a fun fantasy to think about, but I had a hard time imagining it being a good deal from the woman’s perspective. It was obvious to me why being in command would be fun, but I also felt that the person in the submissive role might be getting the worst part of the deal. It didn’t necessarily seem like a fair exchange.

Boy was I wrong about that. By giving myself permission to explore this with willing partners, especially my girlfriend (who absolutely loves it), I saw with my own eyes just how intensely pleasurable it could be for the sub. Those experiences, combined with a lot of in-depth discussion, elevated my understanding and erased any lingering guilt or shame I had over the practice, which helped me enjoy and share a fun, playful, loving, and deliciously pleasurable journey.

Compatible Matches and Social Pressures

As we learn more about ourselves, we also learn how to recognize our most compatible social matches. A good match is someone with whom we enjoy a sense of mutual elevation. A good match isn’t necessarily a clone though. The best matches have enough commonalities to foster a strong connection and enough differences to encourage mutual learning and growth.

If you don’t know yourself very well, or if you allow social pressures to dictate your life experience, your life is likely to fill up with weak, uninspiring, ho-hum social matches.

Social pressures tell us to keep saying yes to partial matches, even if they’re shallow and unfulfilling. It’s considered impolite, rude, or obnoxious to distance ourselves from someone for reasons of incompatibility. In some cases, such as with a divorce, these social pressures can be quite strong and difficult to overcome. But stagnation is still worse than turning and facing these pressures.

If we succumb to these social pressures and tolerate too many weak social matches in our lives, we only weaken ourselves and trash our potential. Adding strong social support to your life isn’t such a selfish pursuit as it may seem. If you feel out of tune with your social circle, then surely you’re holding back from supporting those people to the best of your ability. And you aren’t receiving the support you need to live consciously and with a strong sense of purpose. Most likely you’re all bringing each other down and holding each other back from further growth.

If you loosen your grip on such connections, and if you welcome and invite more compatible connections into your life, everyone gains. You benefit by attracting more supportive and uplifting social matches. Your social circle benefits from your increased support and positivity. The world benefits by having more empowered people to contribute. Isn’t it better for everyone if you and your friends help each other feel motivated, inspired, and creative as opposed to feeling disconnected, frustrated, or needy?

Saying no to partial matches is likely to be one of your greatest personal growth challenges. If you can’t bring yourself to release incompatibilities now and then, the truly great matches will avoid you. They won’t recognize you as being a good match for them because you’ll be broadcasting social dissatisfaction instead of social delight, and your uninspired social circle will repel such people as well, sometimes deliberately.

For me the hardest part of this is dealing with the judgment I’ve been programmed to lay upon myself for going against the prevailing social winds. Conscious exploration is a terrific cure for this since exploration gradually replaces conditioned judgments with genuine experience.

In the absence of direct experience, it’s tempting to deny our desires. But after some experience is gained, it becomes easier to transfer more weight to our experiences than to social pressures, and so social pressures lose their power to unduly influence us.

When you observe that your desires conflict with what you’ve been taught, I encourage you to gain some direct experience on the side where the fire-breathing dragons supposedly exist. Quite often you’ll find that the dragons are actually harmless, friendly lizards that have been distorted into monsters.

Exaggerating Your Preferences

One practice I’ve found helpful is to exaggerate my preferences in my own mind, which helps me accept them without letting social pressures unduly influence my decisions. I shared a variation on this idea in The Evil Exit.

I sometimes exaggerate my preferences when I share them too, in a half joking, half serious kind of way.

For instance, if I receive an interview invite, and it seems a bit too stiff or formulaic for my tastes, I might reply, “Oh, you wouldn’t want me on your show. I’d be too disgustingly honest and would likely offend most of your readers.”

Or if I’m connecting with a woman and there’s some mutual attraction and physical escalation, but I know she’s not into being sexually submissive, I might say something like, “It’s a shame you’re so willful. We could have so much fun together if you’d just surrender and be my obedient slave.”

Much of the time, the other person jokingly agrees with me. We acknowledge our incompatibility without anyone taking offense.

There may be some mild disappointment that we didn’t match up, but by framing the incompatibility as being my own personal oddity, I invite the other person to playfully release any expectation that a stronger connection was supposed to happen. I allow it to be my fault that we didn’t match up better, while also staying true to my desires.

On the other hand, sometimes the half serious aspect of my response will encourage a more genuine invitation from the other person. Many times people offer an initial invitation that is somewhat restrained, so as to test the waters without risking much rejection. If beneath the surface, we really are more compatible than was initially assumed, then my response is usually treated as a raise.

So in the interview situation, the potential interviewer might reply, “Lol… actually I find unabashed honesty refreshing! I’d love to delve into some juicier topics with you. I assure you that my listeners love that sort of thing!” And as for the sexual situation, the response might be an expression of curiosity and a desire to learn more about it.

When I fully accept my preferences, even if they run contrary to the social pressures of the day, I find that most people are pretty accepting of me, especially when we’re talking privately and those external pressures aren’t invited into our connection.

The philosophy of “mutual respect, or disconnect” has been very empowering for me. This requires that I accept and respect my preferences before I can reasonably expect anyone else to do so, and to reach that point I must be willing to explore, so I can learn through direct experience what my preferences actually are.

Generally speaking, I really appreciate friends who have a deep understanding and acceptance of their own likes and dislikes, even if our preferences aren’t compatible enough for us to explore very much together. It’s refreshing to connect with people who fully own their desires, irrespective of social pressures.

Confronting the Scarecrow

Here’s a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson I think you’ll appreciate, which does a nice job of putting social pressure in context:

When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.

I know that this isn’t always the case. Sometimes social pressure can have real consequences if you run afoul of it, especially in certain cultures. But much of the time it’s merely a scarecrow. It looks scary and threatening from a distance, but as you move toward it, you realize that it’s just a bunch of tattered clothing stuffed with straw. The only obstacle was your own timidity.

As you explore more and more of those dragon-filled areas, you’ll likely learn to be more suspicious of social pressures, especially when you find new treasures where the dragons were supposed to be. You’ll learn that some social pressures are in place with good reason, such as those to protect you and others from real danger, but when you spot a loudly trumpeted social mandate that runs afoul of your desires that don’t involve life-or-death matters, I encourage you to question it and explore beyond it. Find out for yourself if there’s any substance to it.

It’s okay to guess wrong. It’s okay to walk past the scarecrow, step into a puddle of mud, and conclude that the scarecrow was there for good reason. But even in those cases, you’ll have more knowledge and understanding of the truth behind the scarecrow.

To live consciously it’s important to recognize the presence of social pressure in your life, such that you can choose more freely. The goal is neither to be a conformist nor a rebel, but to think, feel, and behave in alignment with your own best intelligence.

by: OUTSIDE SOURCE

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The Parable of the Talents

The Parable of the Talents

In various religious texts, there can be found some interesting personal development gems.  One from the Bible is “The Parable of the Talents.”

The Parable of the Talents is one of the stories Jesus told to teach a moral lesson.  Although the word “talents” in the story refers literally to money, you can obviously extend the meaning to other areas.  It’s interesting to read it using the common definition of “talents.”

Here’s the story:

The Parable of the Talents

Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them.  To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability.  Then he went on his journey.  The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more.  So also, the one with the two talents gained two more.  But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

After a long time, the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them.  The man who had received the five talents brought the other five.  “Master,” he said, “you entrusted me with five talents.  See, I have gained five more.”

His master replied, “Well done, good and faithful servant!  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share your master’s happiness!”

The man with the two talents also came.  “Master,” he said, “you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.”

His master replied, “Well done, good and faithful servant!  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share your master’s happiness!”

Then the man who had received the one talent came.  “Master,” he said, “I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed.  So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground.  See, here is what belongs to you.”

His master replied, “You wicked, lazy servant!  So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed?  Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

“Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents.  For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance.  Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.  And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

– Matthew 25:14-30 (NIV)

This simple story makes some interesting points that are applicable to the pursuit of personal development.

First, we’re all given a different starting position.  Some of us are born into abundance (five talents).  Others are born into scarcity (one talent).  But what matters isn’t what we’re given — it’s what we do with it that matters.  So Jesus acknowledges the unfairness of life, but he also suggests that our starting conditions are irrelevant.  One person earns five talents, another earns only two, but both are congratulated equally because both achieved a 100% gain.  (I’d sure like to know where those servants invested their money!)

This is also a good lesson in how to deal with other human beings.  Deal with other people based on their starting positions, and evaluate yourself by your own starting position.  If you happen to be one of those who receives five talents, don’t pat yourself on the back that you’re already above average.  If you have abundant talents, you should expect even more from yourself.  Similarly, there may be times in your life where you only have one talent and do the best you can with it, and even though your gains appear small from an external standard, by Jesus’ standard you’ve still made a notable accomplishment.  I wrote about this previously in Raise Your Standards.

Another interesting aspect of the parable is that our talents are entrusted to us, like a master putting money into the care of his servants.  We are stewards of our wealth, and I define wealth very loosely here, well beyond material possessions.  For example, if I can write and speak fairly well, those are talents entrusted to me.  I can bury them in the ground out of fear, or I can push out of my shell and strive to create increase for all.

One thing I wonder about the parable is this:  What would have happened if one of the servants who invested the money realized a loss instead of a gain?  There’s a clue to how Jesus would have answered this because of how the master addressed the third servant:  “You wicked, lazy servant!”  Later the master refers to that servant as “worthless” and has him physically thrown out.  That’s pretty harsh language considering the servant still gave the master all his money back.  Is Jesus saying that inaction is wicked?  Yes, I believe so.  In other words, if you do nothing with your talents… if you hide them in the ground and hoard them, you are choosing to be wicked, lazy, and worthless.  You are supposed to invest what you’ve been given.  Don’t be lazy.

Another clue is how the first two servants are praised.  The master praises them for being “faithful.”  Very interesting.  It would have been different if the master praised them for being shrewd or effective or profitable.  But the praise is given for their faith, not for their results.

Given the language (and hopefully my points still work with non-English versions of this scripture), I conclude that if one of the servants had invested money and lost some or all of it, they would still have been praised for their faithfulness.  However, given that Jesus doesn’t directly address this condition in the parable, he may also be suggesting that faith itself is the path to success — a common theme in his other teachings.  So perhaps if you use your talents faithfully, you aren’t really going to lose.

Another notable quality of the parable is the lack of competition.  The servants aren’t competing with each other for their master’s favor.  It’s not a zero-sum game.  The first two servants both contribute something of value to their master’s estate.

What’s the ultimate reward for the faithful servants?  Although Jesus doesn’t explicitly say it, it seems obvious they don’t get to keep the money.  The two successful servants aren’t even working for their own increase.  It’s not their money.  They’re working for the increase of their master, and they share in the increase to his estate.  Their true reward is to share in their master’s happiness.  So happiness is the reward, and happiness comes from serving others.

I know from experience that if I undertake some action to create increase only for myself, there’s very little energy to it, and it doesn’t usually increase my happiness.  But if I focus on creating increase for others (such as by helping people grow), then I feel great joy in doing that, and it ultimately creates increase for me too.

But there’s more to it than that.  Happiness is a quality that I inject into my work, not something I derive from it.  When I work only for myself, I’m looking for happiness outside myself.  Trying to achieve happiness that way doesn’t work.  But when I work for others’ benefit and turn off WIIFM for a while (What’s In It For Me?), I tap into the deep wells of happiness that are already inside me.  Instead of trying to achieve happiness, I happily achieve.  Happiness flows outward from me and into the work I do, so I experience it as an outflow, not an inflow.

Happiness is something you exhale, not something you inhale.  Are you one of those people who must say, “Yes, Senator, I had a supply of happiness in my gut, but I did not exhale?”

As Jesus implies in The Parable of the Talents, creating abundance requires you to move beyond fear.  If you’re too fearful or suspicious or distrustful, you’re going to bury your talents.  And this leads to “weeping and gnashing of teeth,” i.e. sorrow and depression.

You might think that fear and suspicion will keep you out of trouble, but really they’ll just cause you suffering and pain.  You don’t need fear to avoid being a gullible idiot; for that you just need common sense.  To live a life of abundance, you must ultimately move beyond fear and work to create abundance for others.  Otherwise you’ll ultimately be cast out as worthless.  Jesus doesn’t pull any punches here, youse bums.

Serve to create increase for others, and happiness is your reward.  Bury your talents, and you get “weeping and gnashing of teeth.”  The choice is yours.

And that’s my parablog for the day.  

BY: Outside Source

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The Trouble Tree

Sometimes it is very important for all of us to have a trouble tree;) Read this amazing inspirational story.

"The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farm house had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire had caused him to miss an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pick-up truck refused to start.

As I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. When we arrived he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked to the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles; he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed by the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, they don't belong in the house with my wife and children. So, I just hang them on the tree when I come home in the evening and then I just pick them up again in the morning."

"Funny thing, though," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remembered hanging there the night before." "

~ Author Unknown ~

This inspirational story made me to think about a tree of Joy:) We can leave and take our troubles, and we can also share our joy - if you have a sad and lonely moment - come to your tree of joy and remind yourself about all that joyful moments you have shared here:)

_____________________________

Source: Amolife.com

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